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Most “objections” aren’t logical.
They’re emotional defense mechanisms — survival strategies tied to someone's identity. And if you don't recognize them early, you’ll end up chasing deals that never close.
You’re not up against price, timing, or “need to think about it.”
You’re up against belief systems. Patterns they’ve run for years. Patterns that keep them safe, but stuck.
This tool helps you decode exactly what those patterns are using a 3-Phase Diagnostic Process:
Phase 1: Isolate the Pain
What is the dominant discomfort they want to escape? Not surface pain — root pain.
→ This tells you why they even got on the call. See the Pain Map below for reference.
Phase 2: Identify the Avatar
Which of the 9 identity-based defense patterns are they running?
→ This reveals how they’ll block themselves from change.
Phase 3: Reflect the Pattern
You hold up the mirror. You show them that the behavior causing the pain is coming from their identity pattern.
→ That’s when everything shifts — because they can’t justify staying the same once they see it.
<aside> đź’ˇ
Reminder:
Beliefs drive thoughts → thoughts drive emotions → emotions drive actions → actions drive results.
So if you can spot the
belief
running them, and connect it to the
pain
they’re in right now, the cycle breaks. That’s when they choose change — not out of pressure, but because staying the same becomes
impossible
</aside>
Once you learn to spot these avatars on the call…
✅ You’ll predict objections before they even say them
✅ You’ll stop personalizing resistance
✅ You’ll finally get leverage in your Discoveries — because you’re not just talking to what they say, but to who they are
Build your own Pain Map to diagnose the emotional core driver behind why they booked in the first place. Don’t guess — listen to what they actually say. Here some examples I’ve found:
"I need to replace my income or XYZ."
Core driver: fear of survival, pressure from bills, dependency on income shift.
"I don’t live up to who I want to be as a man/husband/father"
Core driver: desire for congruence between identity and outcomes.
"I want to be free from a boss, location, or schedule."
Core driver: escape fantasy — agency and control over time.
"I used to be in shape."
Core driver: Grief over who they used to be. Shame tied to past athleticism, youth, or status.
"I hate how I look in pictures."
Core driver: Image-based insecurity, self-disgust. Belief that body = value in relationships, dating, leadership.
"I can’t stick to anything anymore."
Core driver: Belief that they’ve lost discipline or reliability. Doubts around follow-through.
"I’m getting older and it’s catching up to me."
Core driver: Mortality. Fear of disease, aging, or not being around for family.
"I don’t feel attractive anymore."
Core driver: Feeling invisible in dating, social settings, or relationships. Desire to feel desired again.
"I’m tired all the time and can’t focus."
Core driver: Cognitive decline tied to poor physical habits. They want their edge back.
"I know what to do, I just don’t do it."
Core driver: Internal shame. Identity dissonance between who they think they are and how they show up.
"Everyone else is ahead of me."
Core driver: status anxiety, perceived irrelevance.
"I do more than my manager, but I’m still overlooked."
Core driver: invisibility, need to be seen, valued.
"I feel stuck."
Core driver: fear of wasted potential, dread of comfort zone.
"I don’t want to become obsolete."
Core driver: insecurity around skill relevance, age.
"I know I’m capable of more."
Core driver: desire for congruence between identity and outcomes.
"I always end up being ghosted."
Core driver: worthiness wounds, fear of not being good enough.
"It’s been years since I connected with anyone."
Core driver: emotional deprivation, craving connection.
"I keep attracting the wrong type of people."
Core driver: awareness of self-sabotage, desire for pattern break.
"I’m not confident enough to approach people."
Core driver: body image, confidence tied to external validation.
"I’m getting older and still single."
Core driver: urgency, fear of missing the window (esp. late 20s to mid-30s).
→ Once you anchor to the pain category, then overlay the avatar, the close becomes diagnostic, not persuasive.
Use these to understand their patterns, behavior, and the “invisible wall” they bring into every conversation.
Core Pattern: Escape > Face; Emotional evasion to avoid vulnerability
Behavior: Vague answers, changes subject, won’t want to go into anything painful; Changes subject anytime the pain gets specific.
Objection Loop: Ghosting. Never commits. Doesn’t follow through.
How to Close: Anchor them in the now. Get radically specific about their pain. Tie action to identity. Ground them in the now of their pain.
Core Pattern: “If it’s not perfect, I won’t start.”; Fear of failure disguised as planning
Behavior: Delay tactics. Obsessing over timing or missing details.
Objection Loop: “I’ll start when things calm down.”; "I need to get everything in place first." "Just waiting until it calms down.” Endless prep. Postpones decision until "later" (which never comes).
How to Close: Show how perfection = paralysis. Show them in how waiting has caused them X, Y, Z (PAIN).
Core Pattern: Worth = Performance; Ego wounded by lack of results
Behavior: Overachievement elsewhere, but stuck here
Objection Loop: “I usually crush it, so I don’t know why this isn’t working”; Confuses activity with progress.
How to Close: Mirror the gap between their self-image and current reality. Show how overcompensating keeps them from solving the real problem. Identity breach = leverage.